Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is indeed 3D. Depressing, disgusting and depraved.
Action. Trying to have a Van Helsing type quality.
Horror. But not one appreciative of Bruce Campbell.
Dark fantasy. Too much head smashing and blood to be dark. Maybe a red fantasy?
Written and directed by Tommy Wirkola, best known for his Nazi zombie themed independent movie Dead Snow (2008), this is an 88-minute flick that falls short in all areas.
The over-the-top killing could have had some humour to it as it did not fit into the flow of the movie. Funny chase scene, violent kills, silent audience.
Brother and sister Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) were simply cast wrong in that he looked about 20 years older than her although they were to be around the same age.
Also with the casting, you had the three main characters that have a strong association with gladiator and superhero themed movies: Clash of Titans for Arterton and for Renner Thor and The Avengers.
The wicked witch in Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is Famke Beumer Janssen, who we may know best from the X Men series in the role of Jane Grey/Phoenix.
It was like taking John Wayne, Clint Eastwood and Gary Cooper and putting them all in a romance musical. All we would think about during the show would be dancing cowboys.
The witches also had the clicking sound reminiscent of the creatures in Predator and the Trolls looked like something out of the Muppets.
The scene with the meeting of witches could have played out a lot more.
Janssen had fun with her role though and played it to the fullest. The one bright spot in the movie.
Hansel and Gretel, depicted as heroes with many a witch kill during their career, get banged up an awful lot for two hunters with such an impressive resume. Oh…and how quick their bumps, cuts and bruises heal!
Simply stated the film never found its footing. A limp script. Too much gore. Punch lines in the wrong places.
In the closing scenes you have to ask yourself, “How could two kids not remember where they grew up?” Also back-to-back jokes on returning to the House of Candy were lame.
On a scale of one to five on the Grimm Brothers scale we give this a low one.
See you on the silver screen.